that being said
by milk ghost
Summary: "There was something else in that house. I felt it." Wherein Natsu rolls his eyes a lot, and Lucy learns that things are not always as they seem. — natsu/lucy (the buzzfeed unsolved au no one wanted)
1. i so i heard u like ghosts

**disclaimer** : **owns nada.**

 **notes: back from the writing dead. who would have thought. i've been binging a lot of buzzfeed unsolved lately, which spawned this monstrosity. yikes. it was only supposed to be like 800 words.**

 **notes2: do people even still use ffnet anymore?**

 **a dedication: to j, who said, and i quote, "o,,,mg a legend" after i told her i was posting for the first time in 2 years.**

x

" The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown. "

— HP Lovecraft

i. so i heard u like ghosts

x

"This is horseshit."

Lucy turns violently to her partner-in-ghost-hunting, a severe and unholy frowny-pout hybrid on her face. She had pretty much coined that specific look at this point. It had been trademarked. She huffs her bangs out of her eyes and turns up her chin. "You know, Natsu, I just don't understand why you can't accept the fact that ghosts are real. They're here with us. Sometimes people aren't able to move on after death. Maybe they have a chip on their shoulder, or maybe there's something tying them to this world. If I can help them, then I want to."

Her eyes go a little distant, then, and he is reminded of her beloved and dead parents that he has never met. Her obsession with the supernatural and ghosts and all that nonsense ties back to Layla and Jude. The trail always leads back to them. Suddenly, Lucy violently flips her hair over her shoulder and takes the go-pro from his hands. "You're still a skeptic now, but you'll see one day. Maybe. If you're not such a jerk."

Natsu runs a hand through his hair and heaves a heavy sigh. He shoves his hands into his coat pockets and begrudgingly trudges on behind her. He does feel sort of bad. Kind of. They had, however, been at this ghost hunting thing for roughly two months, and it hadn't been the greatest experience of all time.

Lucy had recently decided to take up a hobby other than writing and scrapbooking. And, for some bizarre fucking reason, delving into the world of the supernatural was more lucrative to her than, say, taking up knitting. In hindsight, perhaps he really should've pushed a more demure time-killer. Like stamp collecting, or bocce. But, no, Lucy wanted to get into all the freaky shit that the world liked to hide, and make a video blog of it. This was how Natsu had quickly discovered that his friend was kind of a lunatic conspiracy theorist. Their friends had agreed that the blonde shouldn't be galavanting off into dark and unknown—and frankly, "eerie as shit"— places by herself. So that meant that one of them had to go with her.

Originally, he had agreed to this little vlogging shindig because he thought it might be funny. And boy oh boy, was it sure a laugh riot sometimes. Lucy was kind of a scared little girl at heart, and he took full advantage of this fact. Yeah, okay so it might have been kind of an asshole move, but he had to get his kicks in somewhere whilst she was dragging him to abandoned asylum hell through "possessed" houses and back. He chalked it up to a reward for himself after sleeping on cold concrete floors in drafty rooms where they could be mugged by vagrants.

It was also just funny as shit to see Lucy so freaked out sometimes.

Unfortunately, people seemed to be really into Lucy's ever vigilant research and presentation of all the weird crap that had gone on in the neighboring counties, along with Natsu's very heavy skepticism and general negativity. Due to this, they had somehow garnered a rather large internet following. People had begun sending in requests for the two of them (and sometimes another friend they managed to drag along) to check out places, crimes, or whatever freaky juju was going on. They'd even landed a contract with a YouTube channel, tragically. Consequently, this led Lucy to drag Natsu through brambles and briars and back alleys and broken buildings in search of the 'Truth.'

Truthfully, as much as Natsu complained, he didn't mind spending the time with Lucy. As much as she was psycho sometimes, that was only like 12.5% of her personality. Or possibly a bit of a larger figure. Anyhow, the blonde was actually one of the nicest, friendliest, most accepting people he knew. She also let him crash at her apartment sometimes, which made her pretty okay in his book.

The forest around them is oddly silent, with only the crunching of leaves beneath their feet echoing through the trees. Natsu has to admit, this place does have an Air about it. Now, was it haunted? Hell to the no.

A dilapidated building looms before them in a sketchy clearing, and Natsu audibly groans. Lucy gives him a shove, then adjusts her pink beanie before turning on the go-pro. The pompom on top wobbles, which makes her look like one of the most ridiculous ghost hunters he's ever seen. Lucy couldn't catch anything looking like that.

Now, maybe if the ghosts liked cute, naïve blondes—

"This is Fiorè Unsolved. I'm Lucy, and this is Natsu. We're here on the quest to answer the question: Are Ghosts Real?" At this, Natsu smiles brightly and shakes his head no, multiple times. Lucy elects to ignore him and keep going. "Last week we received a request to investigate the murders at the Phantom Lodge. I have to warn you, they're pretty….pretty bad."

Natsu quirks a brow. "I feel like I've heard about this story before. I remember some details. It's not great."

Nodding, Lucy lowers her voice. "That being said, let's get into the timeline."

They pause the video and turn off the camera there, because that's the part that they'll record later. At this point, they're just trying to get footage of the cabin. And of course, Lucy had wanted to come at night. Apparently, the setting 'added' more creeptastic appeal to the episode. This was also the time that they would try and 'commune' with the spirits. Aka, Natsu would taunt them to high hell, and Lucy would get scared out of her mind. It made for great footage, naturally.

The two of them stare at the cabin, and Natsu could actually agree that this wasn't the ideal place to be. There was a reason that this place was abandoned. People had been killed here, in brutal fashion, and something about that just struck him the wrong way. Did that mean that the victims' ghosts were still here because they couldn't move on? No.

Lucy swallows, gripping the camera tighter. Natsu pulls his own go-pro out to film her. This was their two-way filming system. "I don't like this place," she shivers.

Natsu rolls his eyes. "You don't like any place that we go. It's par for the course. You chase after ghosts, but you don't actually want to find them."

She glares at him, and they're back to their old game of him taunting her almost more than he taunts the 'ghosts.' "Whatever, you piece of old bread. We're here on a mission."

"That's right folks!" he announces jovially, and he can almost see her pale in the darkness. "This is the part of the show where Lucy goes inside the murder house!"

He winks at her, and she looks at him like he might be the next victim of the Phantom Lodge. "Oh chill, weirdo. I'll go in with you so you're not completely alone in there with possible vengeful ghosts."

Lucy stares straight into the lens like she's on the office. "Oh my gosh. This is actually how we die tonight."

"Pfft," Natsu scoffs, then gestures grandly toward the supposedly haunted building. "Alright, fearful leader. Take it away."

His partner buries her face into her scarf, then turns on her heel. She begins to take a few tentative steps toward the entrance. "As we already know, there were three murders that took place here, all under mysterious and even unexplainable circumstances. Because of this, it is speculated that the Lodge was already haunted before the deaths. This theory is widely popular on the internet for various reasons, one of which being that there was never enough evidence to actually arrest anyone for the murders."

They make it to the porch. "So, wait," Natsu pipes in. "You're telling me that even after everything that happened, no one was ever actually indicted? Like, they just got away with it all?"

Lucy makes a face as she reaches for the doorknob. There's some lovely graffiti of the words '420 BLAZE IT' across the door. Natsu snickers at this. What a terrible place to get stoned. "Well, sort of. There were some suspects, which we'll get into later, but nothing ever came of it. There were also some bizarre leads that turned up being dead ends. All in all, when you look at the case in its entirety, none of it makes any sense."

Natsu moves the camera around the inside of the entrance as the door creaks open. "Damn, that could use some WD40. Okay, this is it. Lucy, are you ready to cross the threshold into Ghoulsville?"

"You're _so funny_ ," Lucy warps her voice to sound like a valley girl. "Shut up, Natsu."

She takes a hesitant step inside. Then another, and another, and another, until she's standing in the middle of the front room. A chill runs down her spine. Something isn't right. She's already scared. Everything just feels so… _off._

"Hey there ghouls, it's us!" Natsu shouts, which prompts Lucy to smack him.

"Don't TALK to them, you dolt!"

He gives her and her go-pro a smug smirk. "I always do this. Why are you so surprised? You know, I feel very at home here," he nods, looking at the words 'GET OUT' scratched into a wall. _Scratched_. Damn. Punk ass kids, probably. Whaddayado?

Frightened, Lucy sends him a disbelieving glance. "You're insane. Are you actually trying to die?"

"Welcome to the part of the show where Lucy and I interrogate the ghosts for information regarding their whereabouts and hobbies," Natsu says cheerily.

There is a lot of footage of Lucy looking disgusted, just for the record.

"To kick off this glorious tradition, we're going to lock ourselves in a room with the ghosts!"

There is also a lot of footage of Lucy nearly losing her mind.

Natsu rolls his eyes as Lucy takes a step closer to him when there is a particularly loud creak somewhere upstairs.

"Hey, hey. Look at me. You're gonna be fine. You'll live. I _promise_."

x

After the filming is over, and they are out of that tragic and terrible place, Lucy sticks very close to Natsu, even in the car.

"So? Conclusion?" Natsu asks, eyes on the road, but flicking to the dash cam.

Lucy spares a quick glance in the side mirror, though they are long gone from the Phantom Lodge. "I….I don't know, for sure. What do you think? Haunted?"

"Absolutely not," he replies, almost before she's finished the word 'haunted.'

Lucy laughs then, only a lot bit nervous. But she's acting a little more like herself now. That's good, he tells himself.

She reaches for his hand on the gear shift, off cam. "But….I just couldn't help feeling that...that we weren't alone in there. There was something else in there."

There was something else, she thinks, and I felt it after we heard the cream upstairs.

Natsu decides to wrap up the episode, in characteristic fashion. "In any case, if you're looking for a remote location for a camping trip. Don't. Go to Yosemite or somethin', man. It's not worth it."

He switches off the dash cam, and they ride in silence for a bit.

"Natsu….can you….can you stay over tonight? On the couch, of course." She's not looking his way, but a smirk pulls at the corner of his mouth either way.

"Sure, Luce. It's no problem."

x

There was something else.

Natsu thinks back on her words, folds his hands behind his head, and turns his eyes toward the door of Lucy's bedroom.

 _ **Maybe.**_

x

[ look me in my eyes, tell me everything's not fine ]

x

tbc.

 **notes3: i don't even know, man.** **i uploaded this on my phone. it was a wild time. -15/10 do not recommend.**


	2. ii that kind of music just kills

**notes:** y'all know i never beta my own work. it's tragic. will i also ever do it? no.

 **notes2:** we all know that gray is a shady ass bro, but we love him anyways. he's the real chaotic neutral of this story. is he even in this chapter? no.

x

" The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown. "

— HP Lovecraft

x

ii. that kind of music just kills my soul

x

Natsu stares at the small hunk of cold metal before him, unimpressed. Lucy peers at the object from behind him, small fingers kneading the fabric of his jean jacket. His one and only predominant thought is _why._ The girl behind him peers up into his camera, sucking in a deep breath between her teeth.

"As you can see, some people believe that there are cursed objects, and that some even might be inhabited by demons from another world."

Natsu might actually need an aspirin. Or and entire bottle of whiskey. Maybe both. Probably both.

It's a flute.

Lucy is scared of a _flute._

It would be funny if it wasn't so ridiculous.

"That is batshit," Natsu says, monotone. "Why the hell would a spirit want to inhabit an inanimate object? That doesn't make sense to me. Especially when there's perfectly good hunks of flesh walking around, ripe and fresh for the pickin'."

The blonde gives him a disgusted look, moving to stand beside him instead of behind him. "Gosh, you're so morbid, Natsu." She stares at the flute. "There's multiple theories of why spirits do this, which we'll get into later, but one thing remains clear: weird things have happened when people possess supposedly cursed objects."

Natsu rolls his eyes, so hard he could bowl a strike, and turns the camera from the flute to her. "Oh please, do enlighten us."

Lucy snaps her fingers, and her curled hair bounces. At least she isn't wearing a pink pompom hat this time. "That being said, let's get into it."

They just _had_ to have one demon episode every once in a while. Why on God's green earth, Natsu did not know. People were seriously obsessed with some wonky crud, in his opinion. Demons scared Lucy more than ghosts, which was saying something. If she didn't want to find a ghost (even though she's always claiming that she does) then she definitely doesn't want to encounter a demon, of all things.

He really, _really_ should've insisted on her taking up needlepoint.

The two of them are in a museum in Clover, a town only a few hours drive from their hometown of Magnolia. Much to Natsu's chagrin, it just so happened to be a museum for the 'supernatural.' The final annoying kick to his ass is that the museum is also one of the mind-numbing, cheesy mystery spots that unfortunately exist around the country. It's a tourist trap hunk of junk if he's ever seen one. And trust him, he has.

What really gets him is that people pay money— _money_ —to experience a dining set that's glued to the ceiling drip a cornstarch, water, and food coloring cocktail down on them. Or to stare at a wall painted with dozens of black and white circles inside each other. Or look at a surprisingly large collection of reportedly cursed objects. The flute in featured in this week's episode is supposedly one of the most haunted objects in Fioré.

Lucy and Natsu position themselves in front of the tripod they'd previously set up, and Lucy does her best deep and mysterious voice. (This is because Natsu absolutely _refuses_ to do anything but be a skeptic who's just along for the 'dumbass waste of my time ride.') "This week, we're investigating the Lullaby Flute in an effort to answer the question: Are Ghosts Real?"

Natsu sighs for the gazillionth time in the past two months and shakes his head repeatedly. "Why can't it be like, a creepier instrument? The clarinet has always seemed a little shady to me. Or the bassoon. Have you ever seen a bassoon? Fucking hell of an instrument, I say. Flutes are….they're not very intimidating."

Lucy blinks at him. "Wha—"

He's on a roll, however. "Like, if some asshole were to give me a flute that was supposedly 'haunted,' I'd be like, 'yea um….sure. Thanks. I guess….for the flute.' I wouldn't be like," here, he screams and waves his arms wildly, "AGH! Not this cursed object! It burns!"

"That's—it's not—" Lucy snorts, "that's not how it works."

Natsu looks straight into the camera as Lucy switches back to her conspiracy theorist voiceover. It's kind of hilarious because her pitch is too sweet-toned to be anything near creepy. He just doesn't have the heart to tell her, and apparently no one else does either.

"Let's get into the history of the flute. It was first documented around 1876, after the unexplainable mass death of 12 people. These 12 men were on the surrounding town councils of the nearby counties. It was a chilly Sunday evening after a bi-annual meeting when the men were reportedly seen roaming around like the dead. They were unresponsive to anyone, and had a faraway look in their eyes. Soon thereafter, the men fell over, and were pronounced dead."

" _What_ ," Natsu deadpans, interjecting. "People saw these guys just wandering around like zombies, and their decided course of action was to just let them stumble around and not to help?"

Lucy shrugs. "It was 1876. I'm sure the meeting adjourned after dark. Maybe people thought these guys just went out and had too many drinks or something?"

"How—how many drinks are you gonna have before you're so slopped that you don't even like, babble dumb shit?" Natsu wheezes. "That's—no. No. That makes zero sense to me."

The blonde turns back to the camera. "Before one of the councilmen died, it's reported that he mumbled the words 'flute' and 'lullaby' to a man at his side. Further investigation into the tragic and sudden deaths of these 12 men showed that all of them suffered unexplainable bleeding from their ears. The deaths of 12 people at once, especially 12 councilmen, under such peculiar circumstances immediately rose suspicion."

"You don't say!" Natsu scoffs.

"There were no solid leads or evidence of any kind, aside from a few strange pieces of information that was picked up. It was said that earlier in the day, a passerby had witnessed a shadowy figure lurking outside the meeting hall. Another person had heard what they thought was flute music, and after only a few seconds of listening, the witness had suffered an immense headache that required them to lie down all afternoon to remedy it," Lucy reports.

Natsu already knows where this is going. "They think it was this damn flute. If that's true, then I'm the demon lord."

She shoots finger guns at him, choosing to ignore his last statement. "We have a winner. This flute was picked up by a man who found it on along the road near the meeting hall a few days later. Upon trying to play the instrument, the man reportedly experienced excruciating pain and fell unconscious. The flute has since been passed down through various hands, some owners even experiencing seizures and vomiting after attempting to play it."

"So what? You think it's connected?" Natsu feels very, very tired.

Lucy is beginning to loons little squeamish. "Well, yes. There is a strong theory that the flute houses a very powerful demon, and that is was released on purpose to kill the councilmen. The thing is, though, no one knows who or why anyone would do that. Any record of the flute's original registered owner stops after 1876. It's like the man just disappeared."

"Unbelievable," he remarks, actually not believing any of it. "What if they also just...drank bad water or something?"

She stares at him, mouth agape. Her lip gloss looks nice today. It's so pink that's it's almost red. He wonders what it would look like—

"You...you think that drinking bad water just causes someone to bleed from the ears? Twelve grown men to just…what? What? I am not even comprehending your logic."

Natsu shrugs, slightly miffed. "Hey! I'm not a doctor. I'm just _saying_ , that's a lot more believable than, 'hey! All of our councilmen just jerked over due to untraceable causes! It was probably a metal tube demon!'"

Lucy pinches the bridge of her nose, and he feels like maybe he just lost boneless chicken wings tonight. He's only a little sorry. "You're...okay. Sure. Whatever."

"Anyways! I'm gonna play the demon flute!" he announces cheerfully, much to Lucy's outwardly expresses horror. "To prove that this is all complete and utter tomfuckery!"

His partner appear as if she might pass out, so he quickly guides her to a nearby bench with the guy from Scream poorly painted on it. "Natsu," she protests, looking a peculiar shade of pea soup green. "I don't think…."

"It'll be fine," he gives her a grin, turning back to where the flute lies on a velvet pedestal behind a roped off area. "Nothing is going to hurt you."

He picks up the slightly battered flute (he supposed all the dents are from the people dropping it when they pass out) and rolls his eyes. Then, Natsu lifts the thing to his mouth.

"Do you even know how to play the flute?" Lucy feebly questions, fingers trembling as she tightly grips the edge of her plaid skirt.

Truthfully, Natsu really couldn't give a damn. He attempts to convey this through a careless shrug, and then moves his fingers to the keys. Lucy stares in terrified and awed wonder as he proceeds to play a shitty version of 'My Heart Will Go On.' It's actually the worst thing she's ever heard in her life, and if all the former flute players were this terrible, it's no wonder why people experienced severe headaches afterward. His playing sounds like drinking straight shots of lemon juice and white vinegar, but for your ears. It brings tears to her eyes, but not because it's beautiful. There are no words in any of the 5 languages she knows to express how ugly it sounds.

It would actually be hilarious if she weren't so afraid.

Natsu hits a particularly awful high note, and that's when he starts laughing, unable to finish. He spreads his arms wide, a smug shit-eating grin on his face. "Would you look at that? We're both still alive. No bleeding, no fainting, no seizures."

"Please never do that again," Lucy pleads, possibly more pale than before. "My heart will _not_ go on if you do. If you get possessed, don't say I didn't warn you."

He smirks at her and sets the instrument back down. "Well, I say that this flute is just a flute."

She narrows her eyes at him. "Not anymore. Not after that. You've defiled it."

Natsu shoves his hands in his pockets and laughs.

x

Later that night, they are both sprawled on the couch at Lucy's apartment. They rarely ever go to Natsu's place to edit the videos. Lucy says it's because it feels kind of like a morgue to her. Plus, she claims that he's a hoarder who apparently goes to flea markets to get some of the crap he's got in his house. He just rolls his eyes, and allows her to believe what she wants. He likes Lucy's apartment, anyways.

The clock reads 12:04 am, and she is fast asleep on his shoulder. He pulls a blanket over her and sighs, deciding to finish their editing goal for that night himself. Natsu scrolls through the footage from earlier that day, and comes across something that makes him pause.

It's one of the clips of him playing the flute.

He turns the volume down and clicks on it.

Hits replay.

Zooms in.

Replay.

Natsu glances at Lucy, and then deletes the clip from the hard drive.

x

[ don't you ever take your demons—always keep them on a leash ]

x

tbc.

 **notes2:** italics on ffnet are a real biotch. i'd say fight me but they already are, so.


	3. discount cult shopping on craigslist

**notes:** i don't know what amazon thinks i do in my spare time, but my prime email today was suggesting uranium ore, a banana slicer, a ufo detector, & ballpoint pens. apparently, i am secretly fox mulder? with a penchant for sliced bananas?

x

" The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown. " — HP Lovecraft

x

iii. discount cult shopping on craigslist

x

One morning, when the sun is barely kissing the horizon hello, there is a rare occurrence.

Natsu wakes up before Lucy.

The two had fallen asleep the night prior researching information for the next vlog. Well, more accurately, Lucy had been researching and Natsu had been watching her psychotic self geek out about….cults. He had opted out of this fascinating curiosity sesh, like he always did, in favor of scrolling through Instagram and Facebook on his phone. And he really had turned his brain to mush for half an hour. But, there's only so much on Facebook these days—and if there is anything, it's just people complaining or sharing weird minion or old people memes with shitty and illegible font.

He'd even gone 20 leagues below the sea deep into Insta explore, or whatever the hell that was called. Then things had started to get too weird for him, so he had decided to secretly watch Lucy from behind his phone screen.

She had been, of course, extremely gung-ho researching cults and all that dark jazz. He had maybe even asked her some questions—cults were real, after all. Even he knew that. Natsu likes to consider himself a decently educated person, and cults were kind of morbidly interesting, in a way. Lucy had delved into her freak show Wikipedia file in her brain for him on all things occult, and she'd even made his favorite gooey chocolate peanut butter brownies.

Perhaps, if they had been cuddling together on the couch watching a movie (maybe horror, so he could put his arm around her when she got scared and he could berate the entire movie for his pure enjoyment), it might have been even better. But, of course spending a night in Lucy Heartfilia's apartment, while many a guy's dream, never turned out like one would hope. That was one thing about his, dare he say it, ghost-hunting partner and best friend. Her eccentricities tended to ward off the creeps and guys just looking to hit it and quit it. If a bro dude approached her whilst she was out living her life, he would soon find out that she wasn't just a pretty blonde. And if a creeper tried to do anything with her, well….he cites the September 6th incident of 2016, wherein Lucy and their friend Levy almost got mugged but the dude apparently chickened out when he was stalking them. The reason? Lucy's extensive knowledge of Fioré's unfortunate list of serial killers.

Natsu exhales, the remnants of sleep still trying to drag him back. His neck is killing him, and upon further inspection as to why, he discovers that he fell asleep slumped against the couch. Wonderful. Shifting into a more comfortable position, he tries not to wake Lucy, who is asleep on his chest. Damn, he can hear Gajeel cackling at him, not how you wanted to wake up with blondie, is it? Scowling, he ignores imaginary Gajeel and pulls a blanket over Lucy.

She didn't fall asleep until at least 12:30, so he's got some time before she wakes up, probably. The clock on his phone reads 6:37 am, and he groans. Tragic. Lucy would definitely be up by 8. If he wanted anymore sleep, he would have to get it now. Apparently their agenda for today was to go on some kind of shopping adventure. Now that—that he could handle. Although sitting at the mall waiting for Lucy to try on clothes was mind numbing, it didn't involve traipsing through the Woods of God Knows Where and almost falling into a dry well.

Natsu slips his arm around Lucy and closes his eyes.

He is, of course, awoken less than 2 hours later by the smell of pancakes and Lucy gently shaking him awake. Wow. That's a remarkable improvement. Usually she throws something at him and yells. She's also kicked him more than once. Maybe she was grateful because he let her use him as a pillow.

Except, of course, as he comes to, he realizes that she's gently nudging him with her foot. Alright, not that much of an improvement. "Natsu. Natsu? Natsu."

"Lushi?" he slurs, and wow is that bacon he smells? Dead pig slabs really get him going in the mornings. "Lushi, iss thasht begon?"

She snorts. "Do you even speak English, Natsu? Yes, it's bacon. There's also blueberry pancakes. Can you please get up now? You're drooling all over my nice hardwood flooring. Plus we need to leave in like half an hour."

"Haffawha?" he mumbles, unintelligibly. He doesn't even want to think about getting up right. Or opening his eyes.

But then he does, and there she is—hair in one of those fancy braids, in a nice fall dress and cardigan ensemble. Good, he decides. Another strong piece of evidence that they are not going into the godforsaken woods. Of course, she could always pull on her hiking boots, but he crosses his fingers.

"Rise and shine," Lucy announces. "We have a meeting in Kunugi this morning."

Hold up. What.

Natsu peels himself off the floor and quickly wipes away any drool from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. " _Kunugi_? I thought you said that we were going shopping?"

She slides a neat stack of pancakes onto a plate and smiles at him. It's her super top secret "I'm Up to Something" smile. It makes his heart feel funny sometimes. "Oh, we are."

x

Natsu is not a fan of long car rides. There are only 3 ways that he gets through them.

I—He sleeps.

II—Lucy lets him lay his head in her lap.

III—He's the one driving.

As much as he prefers the first two, Lucy make him drive all the way to Kunugi. They have to stop for coffee first. He downs an entire 24oz of cold brew mixed with a RedBull and one of those puny 5 Hour Energy shots. Lucy frets the entire time. In fact, she even takes the little 5 Hour Energy away from him. She claims that it's 'detrimental' to his health. However, he pours it in when she isn't looking.

Now, in retrospect, that might not have been the best idea. The good news is, though, he isn't going to fall asleep while driving. The bad news is that he might not sleep for a week straight.

Lucy is bopping along to some indie pop music cover that she likes, and he rolls his eyes. Personally, he's more of an AC/DC and other old rock guy. But hey, if it makes her happy, then how can he stop her?

"Are you sure this thing is right?" Natsu finally queries, once they are almost through Kunugi. It's not that big of a town anyways, and they sort of just left city limits. "The uh, shopping district was back that way."

Lucy shakes her head, unfazed. "Yep. That's the correct address."

He makes a hmmmnngg face at the gps, squinting to see the address. The little red dot that is representative of them is still booping along, further away from town and closer to The Cuts. He is getting slightly suspicious.

"Lucy," Natsu begins, feeling his left eye twitch erratically from all the caffeine, "what exactly are we shopping for?"

She actively goes out of her way to avoid eye contact with him. "Oh, um, y'know...some recreational activity stuff."

What's that call, ref? Bullshit?

"And _where_ exactly did you find this 'recreational activity stuff'?" Natsu's grip on the steering wheel tightens.

Lucy shrugs her shoulder. "Maybe Craigslist."

"Maybe Cra— _Lucy_. Dammit! Do you even know what kind of screwed up lurkers are on there?! What the hell?! What if you had come out here all by yourself?! What if—"

What if he hadn't been with her? What if she'd been snatched by some deep web creep using Craigslist as a place to find naïve, pretty girls—fuck. She's actually going to drive him insane.

She responds by simply shrugging again. "I would've taken Gray. Maybe Gajeel. He's beefy."

Natsu chokes on his spit. "B- _beefy_?"

"Wait! I think this is your road!" Lucy points to a small, barely noticeable dirt road ahead to the left.

They're down to a two-lane highway already. Natsu feels a headache coming on, but he's honestly not sure if it's from his cocktail of pure damnation or whatever is about to happen. Maybe both. Probably both.

 _"In 900 feet, turn left onto county road 45678_ ," the sterilized automaton female voice of the gps announces, and Natsu swerves to miss a squirrel he could've sworn had blood red eyes.

He turns where the gps indicated, and a grim feeling of why the fresh fuck settles over him. The road looks like it hasn't been driven in years. It's lined with trees that are older than paper, probably, and more than half of them are dead. A beat up 'NO TRESPASSING' sign decorated with bullets holes is dangling precariously from one nail on a tree.

 _"You are now entering an unmapped area_ ," the gps says loudly. " _Proceed with caution._ "

Natsu turns to Lucy, a _Look_ on his face. She sinks down in her seat a little. He sighs, takes a deep breath, and proceeds with caution.

Two minutes.

Five minutes.

The song on the radio changes to static, and that's the end of reception.

Lucy's phone goes from 3G, to 1X, to No Service, to saying absolutely nothing at all.

" _The destination is ahead, on your right_."

Dubiously, Natsu drives into the drive. There is a mailbox with some kind of animal skull on top. Beyond the trees, way over yonder, they can see part of a dilapidated trailer house.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me."

Lucy beams, unlocks the car (Natsu cringes) and hops out. "Hi!" she calls out cheerily. "We're here for the cult stuff! We saw your ad on Craigslist!"

x

[ this town is only gonna eat you ]

x

tbc.

 **notes2:** there will be a pt 2 for this one. congrats. prep yourselves for CULTS, yo. specifically, one of the not so heavenly kind. also cameo gray, ig.


	4. iv ring around the rosie

**notes:** my blood is just coffee at this point. but not cold brew. never cold brew.

x

" The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown. "

— HP Lovecraft

x

iv. ring around the rosie, cult circle homies

x

Natsu feels like he has achieved the opposite of Nirvana—he is not at complete inner peace, he is at ultimate inner Chaos.

The woman before them is giving him some seriously bad vibes, and he doesn't even believe in vibes or whatever. She appears to be in her mid-fifties, with patchy and questionably cheeto puff orange hair. Her shirt is too tight, and advertising some company that makes guns. It's also an offensive neon camouflage color that violently contrasts with her bright pink shorts. She is barefoot, sporting a fanny pack, and has knobby knees.

She also just lagged out two, conspicuously large boxes. One of them has a peculiar bulge, and the other appears to be leaking…..something.

He is not impressed.

Lucy, however, is already putting her best foot forward. "Hi!" she exclaims, stepping toward the toxic woman who smells of permanent fish fry. "Thank you so much for this stuff! I have your 20 dollars, do you want—"

The woman shakes her head. "Keep yer money. I got this crap at a real estate auction a few months ago. Didn't know what in the hell to do with it. I assume it's all from that hellish Tower cult."

"I'm sorry what now?" Lucy almost swivels around upon this news, as she had been nearly ready to take a sneak peak at the boxes.

Natsu frowns and nudges one of them with the toe of his boot. It makes a strange squishing noise, and he quickly retracts his shoe and inspects his Timberlands for any hell sludge.

If the Tower was the Tower that Lucy thought the woman was referring to, then they were in for some juicy tidbits of _knowledge_. Fioré has a dark history of cults and involvement with the occult, and she has always been curious. Especially when it came to matters that people liked to keep buried. Lucy would be ready, bullshit boots on and shovel in her hand to dig up the story at its roots.

"The Tower is Heaven cult that was around a while back."

 _A long while back_ , Natsu quirks a brow, just as Lucy thinks, _jackpot_!

She fiddles with her scarf. "Um, excuse me ma'am but, would you mind telling us what you know about the Tower of Heaven cult? And do you mind if we film it? We run a video blog on all of Fioré's interesting stories, and this is definitely one of them."

The blonde pulls out a video camera, and Natsu is actually amazed at her preparedness for such a time as this. His next thought: _this was all a setup_. She'd somehow known all along that they weren't just coming here for discount cult stuff.

"Name's Loretta," beefy cheeto woman grunts. "And I don't see why not. Though I'm warnin' you kids: it ain't pretty."

Lucy is entranced. Natsu is ready to go home. Cults weren't shit that you messed with. They were real—no matter if they were based on false pretenses or doctrine or pure bullshit. People were some of the worst monsters out there, and you didn't fuck with the ones crazy enough to be in a cult. Especially one like the Tower of Heaven.

Loretta clears her throat, and it's sort of like nails scraping a chalkboard. "The Tower they were building was suppos'd be somethin' that can bring a person back from the dead. Legend has it that they were tryin' ta bring back some man witch or somethin', I ain't sure. He was the person that created this demon thing in the first place, but that's all hearsay. He's been dead for more years than the three of us combined have been alive."

The older woman looks off into the trees, sort of like she's afraid someone might hear. "They kidnapped dozens of people over the years—even children—to do their work on fixin' this tower. They was real intent on bringin' this man back from the beyond—which ain't right, if it's even possible. But they was finally exposed, thank the heavens, and everything was ended. See, they was gonna sacrifice another person to bring that man back. That was the deal—a life for a life. But they was stopped before they could. That tower and that man was like their gods. They would'a done anythin' for them, far as I heard."

Loretta shrugs. "Some of them crazies got away, but most of 'em didn't. They was into some dark crap. That man they was tryin' ta bring back was a demon, some say. That's why I don't want none of this. It brings me bad energy."

Natsu looks at Lucy and mouths _bad energy_. She rolls her eyes at him. In response, he leans over and opens a box. Inside, there are dark purple crystals amongst some other, more ominous-looking objects. Raising a brow, he picks up one of the larger ones—a crystal about the side of his fist—and inspects it.

"That's a part of the Tower," Loretta informs him.

Natsu looks from her, to Lucy, to the camera, and back to the crystal. "You said the cult members worshipped these crystals?"

"Well, what I was sayin' was—"

He weighs it in his hand, hefting it up a bit and then catching it again. Lucy is starting to get a bad feeling about this.

"Um, Natsu….what—"

He sniffs it.

Lucy shifts awkwardly.

"What the fuck," Natsu intones, thinking back on what Loretta had said. "People worshipped these hunks of earth? _Pffft_. As if crystals could bring back a person who's been dead for over hundreds of years back to life. Sounds like a truckload of malarkey to me."

Suddenly, he gets a terribly brilliant idea.

It is not his finest moment, but like he's said before, he gets bored sometimes.

Natsu picks up a small piece, inspects it, and then deposits it directly into his mouth.

Lucy screeches like a banshee, and Loretta makes a noise that is something akin to the audio recordings that people supposedly have of Bigfoot.

He really lets the flavor sink in, then blinks. "Tastes like rock candy. I don't see what the big deal is."

" _WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS?_ " Lucy flails, and he's sure they now have some great camera footage of the tree tops shaking at 10 mph or more. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"

Natsu crosses his arms. "Has anything happened to me? No. These cult rocks were nothing but glorified decorative pieces for people who believe it helps soothe them or whatever. Lemme impart some real shit on you: they do not carry any vibes, let alone calming ones."

"Oh my gosh oh my gosh ohmigosh," Lucy fires off, feeling slightly lightheaded. Natsu was really out here trying to get himself murdered by some dark unseen force. Or by an enraged cult member that could come out of the woods at any minute.

Loretta scratches her head. "Yer a strange lot."

Natsu rubs his chin, reevaluating the crystal in his hand. "Y'know, maybe this might actually make a decent side table piece. If not, we could always hock them on Ebay for $50 a pop. You know people would pay."

"Why me," his blonde partner intones, looking skyward. "Are you there God? It's me, Lucy Heartfilia."

x

That night, Lucy is going through the boxes of cult stuff. Unfortunately, most of it was junk. There were some weird dark robes that she is sure were used in awful rituals, so she pitches them. Natsu is giddily listing the dozen or so large, purple crystals on Ebay, probably. She'd let him take them home because she honestly wanted nothing to do with them.

Sighing, she is about to close the second box back up when she notices something. It had fallen out of some random journal full of old banking information that had somehow found its way into the box. She carefully tugs it free to inspect it.

It's barely a page—the edges are torn and it looks very, very old by now—but one side is filled with scribbled 're some kind of weird medical notes full of even weirder symbols, or something.

Then, she turns the page over.

Her breath catches.

There is one of the strangest drawings she's ever seen—one horn, one wing, and one set of wicked-looking claws. They're all arranged vertically down the page. It's a hurried sketch, but it doesn't make it any less horrifying. What's worse are the words 'destroyer of all' written next to it in red ink. At least, she hopes it's red ink.

Lucy shrinks back into her couch, mind reeling. This had to be linked to the Tower of Heaven cult. But, they had just wanted to resurrect the man they considered their master. As far as she knew, he'd never had horns or wings or claws. So what was this? What else were these people into?

Just then, her phone rings, bringing her back to reality. Swallowing, Lucy lays the small piece of paper down and reaches to answer her cell.

"Hello? Gray?"

x

[ who's that knocking at your door? you've got things to answer for ]

x

tbc.

 **notes2:** i like those lizards that run on two feet. they're pretty rad. in other news, i kind of fell asleep writing this so it's not at its best. apologies.


	5. v poltergeist at denny's

**notes:** this is more serious. woo.

x

" The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown. " — HP Lovecraft

x

v. poltergeist at denny's

x

Gray sits at a back-corner booth at the local Denny's. Blearily, he checks the time on his phone—2:32 AM—and leans back in the seat with a heavy sigh. This was one of the things about being friends with Lucy Heartfilia. She was mostly oblivious to like, everything, but she was also weirdly paranoid about the most random shit. See, Gray was a simple man of 22 years. He liked his alcohol hard, his toaster strudel crisp, and he only owned three pairs of jeans that he rotated weekly to avoid suspicion from peers and family members. His friend Lucy, however, was a bit of a nut, bless her heart. His set ringtone for her just so happens to be the _X-Files_ theme.

Recently, she had decided to take an interest in the spooky side of life. Why on God's green earth, he did not know, but it made her happy, so he was happy. Lucy has gone through a significant amount of Bad Things in her life, so if researching and investigating freaky as hell shit made her smile, then he was more than happy to support her weird endeavors. He had, however, failed to account for her calling him up in the unholy hours of the night to secretly meet her at a clandestine and nondescript location with one of his mom's books on the occult.

See, here was another thing about Gray Fullbuster: his adoptive mother was a professor of the occult at the University of Magnolia. His own major just so happened to be psychology, but growing up with Ur telling him about everything from pagan child sacrifices to lectures on symbology over breakfast had left him with a somewhat vast knowledge on the subject. Lucy had apparently decided to tap into him as a human resource, and she had not wanted to wait. So, here he was: alone in a booth at Denny's in the middle of the night in his pajama pants with nothing but a plate of half-eaten blueberry pancakes and a thick-ass reference guide to cult symbology to keep him company.

That is, until Lucy slides into the booth across from him. She eyes Gray, fork halfway to his mouth and glasses about to slide off his nose, then the ancient text on the table. "Thanks for meeting me here on such short notice. Listen, I need you to help me identify something."

Adjusting his glasses, Gray shoves the bite into his mouth and nods at her. "Ai'ight. Show me what you're packing." Apparently, whatever it was, Lucy had decided it was important to get straight down to business.

Glancing around, Lucy proceeds to pull a worn and torn piece of paper from her pocket and slides it across the table, face down. Raising a brow at her secretive antics, Gray discreetly opens the paper and peers down at the drawing inside. "This is some shitty symbolistic work," he comments as he chews. "It's a little weird that these are all drawn separately instead of together in some semblance of a creature or something. The detailing is spotty but it's pretty damn clear about its message. Where'd you find this?"

"In some boxes of stuff leftover from members of the Tower of Heaven," she admits, fidgeting. "But it doesn't fit with their usual belief system and stuff. Gray, have you ever seen anything like this before?"

He scratches at the stubble forming on his jawline. "Something about it seems familiar, but I ain't sure what exactly it's from. If you look a little closer at the wing here, there's markings that look to me like runes. They'll probably give us more insight into wherever the fuck this is from, or what it is. I can ask Ur, too. She's at that conference for a few days, but I can call her."

Lucy nods in response, eyeing his half-eaten pancakes. He snorts in amusement before sliding them across the table to her, and her eyes light up with delight. "So, can I ask what all this secrecy is about? You act like we're at a damn covert rendezvous for the government or something. Come on, Mulder. Talk to me."

While it was true that Gray had decided that this occult vlogging project of hers was a way to help her deal with all the absolute shit that had been going on in her life, something seemed off. He couldn't quite pinpoint the issue, but it sort of felt like he was in a shady fish restaurant that was secretly an underground drug operational base. On the surface things seemed normal, but deep down, he knew they were not. The question was: what had Lucy so freaked out that she had called him in the middle of the night to meet her at a restaurant on the outskirts of town? Because everyone knew that you don't just go to Denny's—you end up there. So, how had they ended up here?

She looks at him then, but it's a totally different way from how she's ever viewed him before. It almost seems like she's searching his very soul—like she could see right through him. She is staring up at him through her lashes and he has never felt so exposed. "Gray, do you think I'm crazy?"

Gray blinks at her, taken aback for a moment. The thought had never even once crossed his mind. Well, that wasn't entirely true, but sometimes he just questioned her judgment in befriending Natsu because he was, well, a bastard. "No? Lucy, why the hell would you even ask that?"

"Because," she sucks in a breath, and it slides between her teeth like a sheet of metal. "Because I think Natsu thinks I'm crazy. Like...he goes with me to places and he isn't afraid. He doesn't believe in anything except hot sauce and that the Mayans were ahead of their time. He's a freaking maniac. He shows no fear. Gray. We went to Phantom Lodge—you know, that place—but he wasn't fazed at all."

Yeah, that sounded about right. Gray rolls his eyes, but Lucy isn't done. "Gray, there was something there. The whole time I felt this heavy weight and fear and I couldn't shake it until we left. I...it was like something else was there—something other than us. But Natsu doesn't ever notice anything. He probably thinks I'm just afraid of everything. And then I found this symbol, and I don't know. Looking at it gives me this sense of overwhelming dread. Geez, I really do sound like a lunatic."

To be completely honest, Gray had questioned Lucy's choice in judgment when she had announced this little enterprise adventure of hers, and that was because she had always been pretty jumpy. She couldn't make it through any horror movie, and she had her eyes closed the entire time they went to a haunted maze on Halloween. However, he had never doubted her sanity.

Sighing, he reaches for her hand. "Lucy, listen. One time I witnessed Natsu crush ten aluminum cans using only his forehead and the wall of Gajeel's garage. Last week, Ur told Lyon, Ultear, and me about a cult that believed they could change the flow of time with a black bouncy ball. Trust me, you're not crazy. I think what you're doing is pretty cool."

"Thanks," she sniffs, then suddenly snaps a photo of him.

"What the hell? It's 3 am, don't tell me this is for your scrapbook."

Lucy grins at him, and it almost seems like she wasn't unsure of herself at all. "No. It's for your Tinder. Also, I called you here for another reason. Did you know this Denny's is supposedly haunted by the poltergeist of an angered worker who died a horrid death on the grill. They say you can still see his burned and batter-encrusted face as he haunts this place."

Gray squints at her through his glasses. "Now that does sound like bullshit to me. Hand over the phone, Lucy, or delete the photo."

"Don't think so!" she winks at him. "Have fun with the poltergeist! They say he's active around 3 am!"

x

After Gray pays the bill and chases Lucy out of the goddamned Denny's to delete his picture, a figure in the booth behind them pulls out their phone.

"It's me. I have some information regarding the END."

x

[ i've been facing trouble almost all my life ]

x

tbc.


End file.
